思緒整束emotion packing

原來不論是逐步淘空亦或是不懈填補,
都會令人幾近失去自我,
很累的感覺,
想要獲得更多,
卻不斷遭受身心的阻攔,
愈想去抗命,
愈是痛苦難捱.

Alas! No matter the dig out graduly or fill in constantly,
would lead me almost lose myself,
That's relly tired!
want more,but
the suffer of phsical and mind never end,
disobey it,but
full the more harmble.

失落仍不忘奮力向前depressed by getting ahead

愈接近美麗,愈是一種危險，
因為美麗終將幻滅，
於是 我 成長

The more closing to the brauty , the more getting in danger,
Cause the beauty will die in the end,
So that I grow higher.

愈來愈發現我所就讀的研究所並不太理想，
而這不理想的原因,可能是因為不符合原先的期待，
我的期待約莫是將他比擬作最優秀前瞻的院所，
而我卻忘了,這只是一個人的臨時起意,群起用心規劃之後的成果，
這關係到只是少數人所凝聚的共識,怎會是個理想呢？
也罷！
事在人為,獨立研究之所以為研究生的訓練目標原因即在此，
或許我該逃脫那傳統價值所給我的無形窠臼，
讓自己的力量來協助自己成就。

slowly, I found that the graduate school I will attend is not in deal,
And the cause of it maybe is not fit my ordinay expectation,
The expection is about to compare it to the most ahead one,
but I just forgot that this is only the result of one person's suddenly idea,than few ones plan for it.
This is only due to someones's commen view,how it could be a big ideal?
forget it!
Things to be done,people done.Independent study is the achievement.
Maybe I should get away that stubborn value,
and let myself to achieve myself.